Quick Update and Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope everyone has a great time as a family this year. I know I am. I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for the sweet words of encouragement, understanding, and prayers. It means the world to me to know that I am not alone. I felt incredible guilt for venting on you guys like that, but I am so glad that I did. Thank you for your prayers as well. Jameson has been doing much better with his sleep. I am so happy to be typing those words. The other night I was so desperate for him to go back to sleep that I flipped him over on his tummy. He was out like a light and slept until 6 am. The next night I did the same thing and he slept 5 hours straight. So I now lay him on his tummy to sleep and he is only waking up 1-2 times now and can usually get himself back to sleep. I am still waking up a little more to go in and check on him, but I enjoy watching him sleep so peacefully. He was not peaceful when he was on his back. Anyway, I know it is because of your prayers and thoughts. Thank you again for listening and for your kind words. Have a great Thanksgiving. I am very thankful for my friends and family.

Good News

Ok....I am finished with my pity party. I mopped myself off the floor and I am better now. Thanks for letting me get it all out. I know I sound selfish, but I am really not trying to be. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention that Jameson is just as happy as can be. The no sleeping isn't bothering him at all.

I wanted to change gears a minute and tell you that we are just a few weeks away from moving into our beautiful new house. I can't wait. Russ, his dad, and my brother have been working so hard to get it finished. Rusty wakes at 4:30 some mornings to work on the house an hour before he goes to work. He has done such a great job and will be able to look back on it one day and tell our kids what he did. I am very proud of him and this accomplishment. We are closing on the 15th of Dec. Just over a year since we started breaking ground. We are so excited and can't wait to move in. I will be posting pictures soon.

Vent

I have been debating on writing this blog for a few days now. I didn't want to sound whiny, ungrateful,selfish, or come off as being a bad person, but I decided that I might get some helpful advice and it just feels better to get it out sometimes. So please don't judge or think I am a horrible person for what I am about to say. I just need to talk. My little Jameson is still not sleeping. We are starting out 8th week now. I am exhausted to the max! You all know what comes with sleep deprivation.....crankiness, crying, yelling, depression....all that good stuff. I have experienced all of those at one time lately. I am emotionally, physically, and sadly enough spiritually drained. You also know that Satan preys on those who are sleep deprived as well, or at least he does me. I used to lay awake at night begging God to let Jameson sleep and give him peace and rest. Lately I have been laying in bed at night asking God why he would do this to me and finding myself very angry. I have even gotten to the point where I don't want to pray anymore for rest or sleep because He hasn't answered any of my other prayers. I know that God answers "yes, no, and wait". My answer right now must be "Wait". I just don't understand why we are waiting. How can He see me depressed, crying, angry, tired, resentful, etc. and not do something about it? That is my biggest question right now. Not only is my relationship with God hurting, but my relationship with Rusty is non existent, and at times, as bad as I hate to admit it, I just want to take Jameson and leave him at Gam's or GiGi's(grandmother's) for a few hours just to have a break! Why would God allow this to happen? To add to the pile, we are STILL building our house. Rusty is STILL outside all day and all night working. He comes home from work says "hi", goes out to the new house, works until supper, goes back out to the house, comes in and we go to bed. We have no relationship and I have no help. The other night I was so close to slapping him in the head if he snored one more time. While I am up with Jameson or laying in the bed arguing with God, he is steadily snoring. I love him to death and I know he is stressed to the max with the house, but come on. Also, you all know Christmas is quickly approaching. Christmas also requires money and time to buy presents. Well, I have no time to shop and little money to do it with due to the house. So that also has me all stressed out. Now, all of this being said, I love my life, my husband, and Jameson more than you will ever know. I wouldn't trade these sleepless nights for anything because it means that my Jameson is alive and well. I know that there are so many people who would love to wake up at night with their baby if they could just have one. I do not regret having Jameson. I love that little turkey to death. I know that Satan is attacking me right now. I also know that God will provide the money for Christmas and the house. I know that this is a season I am going through and it will end as quickly as it came on, but I am to my breaking point and have no one to talk to. So I blog! I also know that sleep deprivation makes things seem so much bigger and worse than they really are. I am aware of all of this. I just needed to get it out. Please know that I am so thankful for all that God has provided for me and my family. I am in a valley right now and can't see the top of the mountain. All I ask is that you pray for my spirit and that God will answer our prayers for sleep soon. I hope you don't think any less of me and know that I am only human. Thanks for reading.

Trying New Things

I am constantly trying to get Jameson to do new things. I know sometimes I try to get him to do things he is way too young to do and have to remind myself to enjoy the stage he is in now and not miss something becasue I want him to move forward. When I am at home with him I feel guilty if I don't do the ABC's or colors, or some type of learing activity. I know I shouldn't, but I just feel like the time we are awake we could be learning something. When he was smaller, he didn't like to lay on his tummy at all. He would always cry and want to be picked up. I was constantly worried that he would never learn how to crawl or lift his head if he didn't lay on his tummy. Well, as he has gotten older he has gotten better. We have been working on our head and he can hold it up so good now. Here are some pictures of us practicing with our boppy. He was more interested in eating it than lifting his head. He can lift up on his elbows now and it makes me so proud.







I have also been working with him to teach him how to roll over. He is getting better, but usually just lays there and looks at me like I am crazy. Here he is trying to finish a roll over that I started for him.



We have also been working on sitting up. I got a bumbo seat at one of my showers and decided I would try it a few weeks ago. He kind of looks scared in the picture and kind of looks like he is dancing. He can sit in it much better now, but I thought these pictures were cute.





And finally, he has started sitting in his swing, but only for 30 minutes or so and he refuses to go to sleep in it. When he gets sleepy, he starts crying. I was so proud of him for sitting in it while it was moving that I had to take a picture. Here are some other random pictures that I love too. Sorry this is so long, but I haven't updated in a while and I have too many cute pictures to share. Thanks for reading and keeping up.

Halloween Fun

Well, Halloween was a blast! Thursday night was trick or treat in Ashland due to the football schedule. So, we went trick or treating at my mom's house and Rusty's parents house. Jameson was a horse and looked sooooo cute. Bella, my niece, came over and we attempted to take some pictures of them together, but Jameson wasn't having it. He was not a happy camper Thursday night. Here is the picture to prove it!





So, on Friday night, we went to our best friend's Brandy and Jonatha's house in Moody. Maddie was a bumble bee and was so cute! We strolled Jameson and Maddie around the neighborhood and let everyone see how cute they were. People kind of looked at us like we were candy thief's and were using out kids as the bait. Ha Ha....I just told everyone Jameson was for looks. He didn't ride in the stroller for long, as he never does, so I carried him half way around the neighborhood. That little horse got heavy. By the time we got back to Brandy and Jonathan's house he was pooped out and asleep in my arms. He slept all the way home in his horse costume, hoofs and all. We had a really good time and can't wait until next year when they can walk! Here are some pictures of him pooped out and some other random Halloween pictures. Oh, my friend Abby also took some posed pictures of Jameson in his costume. They turned out so cute. Here are a few of them as well. Thanks for reading.

Sleepy Head

Well, my little man has decided for the past two weeks that he doesn't want to sleep through the night anymore. I feel like he is fresh out of the hospital again! :) I have no idea what the deal is. I don't know if he is going through a growth spurt, if he is getting cold or hot during the night now, or if he just doesn't want to sleep. I am exhausted again and I know he has to be too. He has been waking up at random times too. He woke up the other night at 11 and 12:30. So I fed him at 12:30. I try to soothe him back to sleep if he wakes up really early because I know he can make it 6-7 hours without eating. It usually works, but not always. I have also increased the amount he eats before he goes to bed to see if that works. Last night he only woke up at 12:45 and 4:00 so that was better than the 3 and 4 times I was getting up. I think I re-read "Babywise" yesterday for answers. It only overwhelmed me and made me feel like a terrible mom because I can't get him to sleep through the night. I need advice from all you experienced moms out there. Have I gotten him off schedule or is he just needing more to eat. Give me advice. I am all ears.
Oh, we had a great Halloween. I will be posting pictures of his cute costume soon. Thanks for reading.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my sweet husband's birthday! He is 27 years old today. Wow....we're getting old. I just wanted to take this time to wish him a happy day and tell him how much I love him. I absolutely love birthdays. I start announcing my birthday like 3 months before hand just to remind everyone. I change my ring tone on my phone to happy birthday, I tell everyone I know, and if they made a shirt I would probably wear it. Anyway, Russ is totally opposite. So I wanted to make a big deal about his birthday for him by listing some of his amazing qualities and accomplishments.

01. He is an amazing husband and father.
02. He can do just about anything you ask him to (i.e. building our house with his own two hands).
03. He is very easy going and fun.
04. He is very caring and loving.
05. Good friend.
06. Extremely smart (especially in math) He tutors me sometimes. We like to do percentages because I am terrible at that.
07. A Christian with morals and a good heart.
08. Great at vacuuming the floors and couch.
09. He rarely gets mad at me or argues with me...which I don't know how he does because sometimes I want to yell at myself.
10. Finally, he has a tremendous amount of common sense and helps keep me on track all of the time.

The list could go on and on, but I will stop there. Thanks for being a great husband and I am so glad that you were born. God made us for each other and I am so thankful to have you in my life. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day.

Oh, by the way, my birthday is coming up in January. I can say this because it is only 3 months away. :)

Reaching our Milestones

I looked back at my blog since I have had Jameson and re-read all of them. It is amazing at how many milestones we have reached and accomplished. I sounded so exhausted and scared in my earlier blogs (because I was). I needed help with feeding, sleep, daycare, etc. God has provided for every situation. Jameson is doing well in daycare and does great with bottle and breastfeeding combined. And quite possibly the biggest prayer being answered right now is the sleeping situation. My little monkey has been sleeping 6-8 hours at a time for about 2 weeks now. I am so proud of him. The first night he slept until 4 am I was already awake because my body had been programmed for 1, 3 and 4. I woke up at 3 and ran to the nursery to see if he was breathing. It was so funny. Once I realized what had happened (he has slept through the night) I went back to bed; however, I was so excited that he had slept so long that I couldn't go back to sleep. I just laid there and smiled. We still have a few nights where he doesn't like to lay down and will wake up, but I just go calm him down and he goes right back to sleep. He wakes up every morning around 5-6 and wants to get in the bed with mommy. I started that and blame myself for it, but I am starting to love it. He is usually awake when Rusty leaves for work in the mornings and he brings Jameson and puts him in the bed with me. I love to snuggle with him and get a few more hours of sleep with him right next to me. It works out great with my work schedule and I think he likes it too. As you know all moms think their child is going to be a genius. Well, Jameson Camp is already showing signs of being a genius. He has reached all of his milestones plus some. I was reading the other day about what they should be doing at certain ages. He is already doing things they say he should be doing at 4 months! He already tries to stand up, he can hold his head up, and he can half way roll over on his side. :) Isn't it funny how you get so excited over little things like that. Anyway, I think he is going to be very smart and reach all of his milestones early. Lets talk teething now. I am wondering about my little man. He drools so much and constantly has to have his hands in his mouth. He will soak your shoulder in 5 minutes with drool and if you ever put him on his stomach it will just drip out. I am wondering if he will cut teeth pretty early too. Another cute thing he has started doing (which I try not to let happen), is suck his thumb. If he ever wakes up in the middle of the night you can hear him sucking away on that thumb through the monitor. I don't want him to be a thumb sucker for fear that he will be way too old with his thumb in his mouth, but he is just so cute when he does it. I was a thumb sucker and didn't stop until I was in the 4th grade. I don't want him to be like that. One more thing I didn't update everyone on was his 2 month check up. The dreaded immunization visit. It was three weeks ago, but I just realized I didn't tell anyone about it. He weight 11lb. 13 oz and was 23 1/2 inches long. The doctor smiled and said, "he is a big boy". Anyway, it came time for his shots and I was more nervous than he was. He did really good and only cried for a minute. As soon as I got him up and held him he was fine. I thought the ride home would be horrible, but he slept all the way. He didn't run any fever and it didn't appear to phase him at all. We go back in December for our 4 month check up and I am assuming there will be more shots. He is 11 weeks old today. It seems like I was just in the hospital having him. I love him more and more every day. This morning he was looking at me as I walked out of the daycare and it broke my heart. I know he doesn't know what is going on right now, but those little eyes are so cute and sweet. OK, this blog is long enough. I had more to say than I thought. I will try to blog more often so they are so long in the future. Tomorrow's topic will be Halloween (my favorite time of year)! Thanks for reading.

All Grown Up

I am quickly realizing that I am finally growing up. I saw a picture of Me, Rusty, and Jameson together and we look like a real family. It is weird to me because until now I have kind of felt like I was just babysitting for a really long time! It is finally hitting me that I am a mom. I love it! So this weekend was eventful. Rusty was nominated by our church to be a Deacon.....yes you heard me right. He is a Deacon. Now, I know you are saying, "how old is he again", but it is true. I think he made church history as being the youngest Deacon recorded. It says a lot about his character. The church is saying they trust him and love him. I know he will do a good job and I am proud of him. I told him I didn't think I could be a Deacon's wife....I guess I have no choice. So, Sunday was his ordination and it was wonderful. Jameson got all dressed up for his daddy and he looked so cute. I have pictures to prove it, although he was much cuter in person. Who says you can't dress little boys cute? He had his little Ralph Lauren shirt and khakis on for his daddy. He stayed in the nursery during the service, but my mom brought him out for everyone to come by and greet us after the service. I felt so proud to stand up there next to Rusty and hold my little man. My heart melts every time I see that cute little face. (Rusty's and Jameson's) I miss him alot today. I didn't want to leave him at daycare at all this morning. I was surprised to find a lump in my throat this morning as I drove away. We had such a good weekend I just didn't want the fun to end.....and he was talking to me as I left this morning. I never knew how sweet an "Ah-Goooo" could sound. He is smiling and talking more than ever now and I love it. We are all doing well and almost finished with the house. I am praying we are in by Halloween and Rusty is laughing at me. It won't be long though. Thanks for reading and keep in touch. Here are a few pictures for you to enjoy. Oh, Jameson got some cute shoes from GiGi and I took pictures of them like a nerd. They are so cute! Also, I thought the picture of Jameson in the carrier was funny because his little head is just poking out like, "here I am".


Look at that little belt!


Isn't he soooo cute!


Getting his certificate as Deacon.


Cute feet huh?

15 things I am not afraid to admit

Everyone else was doing this so I wanted to join in on the fun. These are in no particular order....

15. I find it hard to think of things I like to do and interesting things about myself.
14. I am an obsessive worrier.
13. I am OCD about leaving things plugged in and on when I leave the house. I often times turn around and double or triple check things.
12. I have a fear of my house burning down.
11. I love animals more than humans...very sad, but true.
10. I tend to be on the selfish side (sometimes secretly and sometimes openly)
09. I am a jealous person. Mostly when it comes to Rusty. He is just so good looking and I know how women are!
08. I am a perfectionist and clean freak and can't stand disorganization.
07. I have body image issues.
06. I can't stand fake people. Someone is one way with me and another with someone else.
05. I struggle with being a mom. I want to be perfect at it and I am not. I catch myself longing for Jameson to be older. (that is awful I know, but I am exhausted)
04. I like to goof off at work and not really get anything done.
03. I can be lazy at times. I take advantage of nap time when at all possible.
02. I like to bite the skin on the inside of my mouth....gross huh....it's a nervous habit.
01. I still have a security pillow. I call it "yellow pillow". I have had it since I was 2 years old.