Quick Update and Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope everyone has a great time as a family this year. I know I am. I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for the sweet words of encouragement, understanding, and prayers. It means the world to me to know that I am not alone. I felt incredible guilt for venting on you guys like that, but I am so glad that I did. Thank you for your prayers as well. Jameson has been doing much better with his sleep. I am so happy to be typing those words. The other night I was so desperate for him to go back to sleep that I flipped him over on his tummy. He was out like a light and slept until 6 am. The next night I did the same thing and he slept 5 hours straight. So I now lay him on his tummy to sleep and he is only waking up 1-2 times now and can usually get himself back to sleep. I am still waking up a little more to go in and check on him, but I enjoy watching him sleep so peacefully. He was not peaceful when he was on his back. Anyway, I know it is because of your prayers and thoughts. Thank you again for listening and for your kind words. Have a great Thanksgiving. I am very thankful for my friends and family.

Good News

Ok....I am finished with my pity party. I mopped myself off the floor and I am better now. Thanks for letting me get it all out. I know I sound selfish, but I am really not trying to be. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention that Jameson is just as happy as can be. The no sleeping isn't bothering him at all.

I wanted to change gears a minute and tell you that we are just a few weeks away from moving into our beautiful new house. I can't wait. Russ, his dad, and my brother have been working so hard to get it finished. Rusty wakes at 4:30 some mornings to work on the house an hour before he goes to work. He has done such a great job and will be able to look back on it one day and tell our kids what he did. I am very proud of him and this accomplishment. We are closing on the 15th of Dec. Just over a year since we started breaking ground. We are so excited and can't wait to move in. I will be posting pictures soon.

Vent

I have been debating on writing this blog for a few days now. I didn't want to sound whiny, ungrateful,selfish, or come off as being a bad person, but I decided that I might get some helpful advice and it just feels better to get it out sometimes. So please don't judge or think I am a horrible person for what I am about to say. I just need to talk. My little Jameson is still not sleeping. We are starting out 8th week now. I am exhausted to the max! You all know what comes with sleep deprivation.....crankiness, crying, yelling, depression....all that good stuff. I have experienced all of those at one time lately. I am emotionally, physically, and sadly enough spiritually drained. You also know that Satan preys on those who are sleep deprived as well, or at least he does me. I used to lay awake at night begging God to let Jameson sleep and give him peace and rest. Lately I have been laying in bed at night asking God why he would do this to me and finding myself very angry. I have even gotten to the point where I don't want to pray anymore for rest or sleep because He hasn't answered any of my other prayers. I know that God answers "yes, no, and wait". My answer right now must be "Wait". I just don't understand why we are waiting. How can He see me depressed, crying, angry, tired, resentful, etc. and not do something about it? That is my biggest question right now. Not only is my relationship with God hurting, but my relationship with Rusty is non existent, and at times, as bad as I hate to admit it, I just want to take Jameson and leave him at Gam's or GiGi's(grandmother's) for a few hours just to have a break! Why would God allow this to happen? To add to the pile, we are STILL building our house. Rusty is STILL outside all day and all night working. He comes home from work says "hi", goes out to the new house, works until supper, goes back out to the house, comes in and we go to bed. We have no relationship and I have no help. The other night I was so close to slapping him in the head if he snored one more time. While I am up with Jameson or laying in the bed arguing with God, he is steadily snoring. I love him to death and I know he is stressed to the max with the house, but come on. Also, you all know Christmas is quickly approaching. Christmas also requires money and time to buy presents. Well, I have no time to shop and little money to do it with due to the house. So that also has me all stressed out. Now, all of this being said, I love my life, my husband, and Jameson more than you will ever know. I wouldn't trade these sleepless nights for anything because it means that my Jameson is alive and well. I know that there are so many people who would love to wake up at night with their baby if they could just have one. I do not regret having Jameson. I love that little turkey to death. I know that Satan is attacking me right now. I also know that God will provide the money for Christmas and the house. I know that this is a season I am going through and it will end as quickly as it came on, but I am to my breaking point and have no one to talk to. So I blog! I also know that sleep deprivation makes things seem so much bigger and worse than they really are. I am aware of all of this. I just needed to get it out. Please know that I am so thankful for all that God has provided for me and my family. I am in a valley right now and can't see the top of the mountain. All I ask is that you pray for my spirit and that God will answer our prayers for sleep soon. I hope you don't think any less of me and know that I am only human. Thanks for reading.

Trying New Things

I am constantly trying to get Jameson to do new things. I know sometimes I try to get him to do things he is way too young to do and have to remind myself to enjoy the stage he is in now and not miss something becasue I want him to move forward. When I am at home with him I feel guilty if I don't do the ABC's or colors, or some type of learing activity. I know I shouldn't, but I just feel like the time we are awake we could be learning something. When he was smaller, he didn't like to lay on his tummy at all. He would always cry and want to be picked up. I was constantly worried that he would never learn how to crawl or lift his head if he didn't lay on his tummy. Well, as he has gotten older he has gotten better. We have been working on our head and he can hold it up so good now. Here are some pictures of us practicing with our boppy. He was more interested in eating it than lifting his head. He can lift up on his elbows now and it makes me so proud.







I have also been working with him to teach him how to roll over. He is getting better, but usually just lays there and looks at me like I am crazy. Here he is trying to finish a roll over that I started for him.



We have also been working on sitting up. I got a bumbo seat at one of my showers and decided I would try it a few weeks ago. He kind of looks scared in the picture and kind of looks like he is dancing. He can sit in it much better now, but I thought these pictures were cute.





And finally, he has started sitting in his swing, but only for 30 minutes or so and he refuses to go to sleep in it. When he gets sleepy, he starts crying. I was so proud of him for sitting in it while it was moving that I had to take a picture. Here are some other random pictures that I love too. Sorry this is so long, but I haven't updated in a while and I have too many cute pictures to share. Thanks for reading and keeping up.

Halloween Fun

Well, Halloween was a blast! Thursday night was trick or treat in Ashland due to the football schedule. So, we went trick or treating at my mom's house and Rusty's parents house. Jameson was a horse and looked sooooo cute. Bella, my niece, came over and we attempted to take some pictures of them together, but Jameson wasn't having it. He was not a happy camper Thursday night. Here is the picture to prove it!





So, on Friday night, we went to our best friend's Brandy and Jonatha's house in Moody. Maddie was a bumble bee and was so cute! We strolled Jameson and Maddie around the neighborhood and let everyone see how cute they were. People kind of looked at us like we were candy thief's and were using out kids as the bait. Ha Ha....I just told everyone Jameson was for looks. He didn't ride in the stroller for long, as he never does, so I carried him half way around the neighborhood. That little horse got heavy. By the time we got back to Brandy and Jonathan's house he was pooped out and asleep in my arms. He slept all the way home in his horse costume, hoofs and all. We had a really good time and can't wait until next year when they can walk! Here are some pictures of him pooped out and some other random Halloween pictures. Oh, my friend Abby also took some posed pictures of Jameson in his costume. They turned out so cute. Here are a few of them as well. Thanks for reading.

Sleepy Head

Well, my little man has decided for the past two weeks that he doesn't want to sleep through the night anymore. I feel like he is fresh out of the hospital again! :) I have no idea what the deal is. I don't know if he is going through a growth spurt, if he is getting cold or hot during the night now, or if he just doesn't want to sleep. I am exhausted again and I know he has to be too. He has been waking up at random times too. He woke up the other night at 11 and 12:30. So I fed him at 12:30. I try to soothe him back to sleep if he wakes up really early because I know he can make it 6-7 hours without eating. It usually works, but not always. I have also increased the amount he eats before he goes to bed to see if that works. Last night he only woke up at 12:45 and 4:00 so that was better than the 3 and 4 times I was getting up. I think I re-read "Babywise" yesterday for answers. It only overwhelmed me and made me feel like a terrible mom because I can't get him to sleep through the night. I need advice from all you experienced moms out there. Have I gotten him off schedule or is he just needing more to eat. Give me advice. I am all ears.
Oh, we had a great Halloween. I will be posting pictures of his cute costume soon. Thanks for reading.